Ponderings

Good morning,

I hope you will allow me a few minutes of pondering. I am feeling better these days both physically and mentally. I actually think I triggered all of my old symptoms with pushing my body working long hours at the mall over the holiday season (and mind, since it's an inside job keeping your body going under duress) I've had lots of continuous aches and pains, poor sleep, colitis, arrhythmia - not fun but I am feeling better this morning. I didn't even discuss this with Larry until Saturday because I didn't want to give any energy to the possibility - attract more of what I don't want into my life. He just knew that I was in a lot of pain and taking pain pills and not sleeping. I have finally had a couple of good nights of sleep and that has really helped. Time for more Reiki from my live-in Reiki practitioner.

We have been pondering since the New Year. It is the same old song "What are you doing the rest of your life?" We completed an exercise created by Martha Beck.... Make a list of every time you remember being utterly, happily absorbed in an activity no matter how odd.
(From O Magazine: The Four Step Plan to Get Your Life Back On Track
http://www.oprah.com/money/Find-Your-Career-Path/1)

Thank goodness for my partner and "student" Larry, who participates willingly in every little exercise that I dream up. This might be a good one for clients, if I ever decide to have "clients" and a coaching practice.

This article is all about finding a "career". She says that you need to stop thinking rationally and go a little wild. Martha says, "These days, listening to my clients talk about their careers reminds me how bewildered I was by my demon GPS. People wander aimlessly because the well-worn paths of yesteryear are disappearing, while strange new options pop up before our frazzled brains can map them. The more new technologies and options have entered everyday life, the more my clients tend to become confused and overwhelmed, finding themselves facing a dead end. Like most of us who have no clue about how to get to where we want, they long for a voice of authority that will spell out the exact route to a thrilling and fulfilling position. Although they keep beavering away at a solution, researching their options and seeking the advice of people with hot new ideas for them, people end up in my office more muddled than ever. They tell me things like:
•"There's so much going on, and it sounds exciting to me, but I feel paralyzed about which new thing to follow up on."
•"I keep reading about all of these new opportunities but I don't really understand them, and I'm afraid I'm being left behind."
•"I'd be happy to follow my passion....if only I knew what it was."
•"I worry that if I commit to one career, I'll lose out on something else."

Wow! This sounds like me - Martha has me pegged.

More from Martha..... "If any of these sound like you, don't bother with classic career guides, they'll have you meandering in circles, stumped at dead ends, or just profoundly lost. The fact is, as we've become accustomed to our over-managed, overstimulated 21st-century lives, we haven't realized that there might be another - decidedly low tech - way to get into the right path.

I suspect you've been advised to think rationally about your career decisions. That would be a big mistake. You might expect people with damage to the emotional parts of the brain, presumably free from the distractions of emotions, to be brilliant decision makers. Quite the opposite. Though they retain full use of their rational faculties, such patients are tragically indecisive, endlessly debating logical pros and cons, unable to choose any path. Their brains send out random, contradictory, and confusing directions. It turns out that, as Jonathan Haidt writes in the Happiness Hypothesis, "it is only because our emotional brains work so well that our reasoning can work at all." Interesting? Maybe I am suffering some kind of brain disorder from to much time on the computer - there is more to say about this at a later time.


Although humans are the only beings on Earth with advanced linguistic skills, any animal with a brain has the automatic capacity to form preferences. It's an irrational sense of "Yes, this!" that takes a migrating goose a thousand miles to it's perfect nesting ground, or a whale to it's calving waters an ocean away. To find your perfect career or path, you have to let your animal self lead you through a wilderness of choices. The way to do that is to make your rational mind not the master but the tracker of your own irrational instincts."
To read the complete article go to
http://www.oprah.com/money/Find-Your-Career-Path/1 

I am not necessarily looking for a career.... or am I? I am definitely looking for something. We do need to make some extra income? Somehow I think I need to take income out of the equation. My list went like this; gardening, fishing, prospecting/dredging for gold, writing, painting (artwork, not houses), people watching, cooking (some things), reading, learning, hiking in the wilderness, mushroom hunting, playing the piano, teaching, coaching (maybe) ...... an interesting list but do I want to do these activities every day or even often? or as a vocation?

We completed another list where you write down what you feel you are good at but some of those "talents" definitely don't make my heart sing; like handing out samples of food or merchandising a store. I know one of my ways to feel alive is to get outside but it is 32 degrees and foggy here this morning. I am longing to go somewhere warm..... Arizona, a warm beach somewhere, maybe the bathtub. It is this time of winter when we get tired of being cold and we long to be somewhere else.

This Sutherlin housesit has provided a sense of security. We get to live in this 3000 square foot, 4 year old custom home 8 months out of the year and that is a blessing but it's not a geographical location of our choosing and the climate leaves a lot to be desired since dark, cold and wet lasts so long here. We keep coming back because, what will we do if we don't have this housesit? We feel stuck. It is time to step out and trust that the net will appear. The northwest director for Hickory Farms has promised us a store in Brookings, Oregon next year. She has wanted to open a store there for some time but needed someone experienced to run it since we will be way off of the beaten path.

We are exploring what is possible. We started a sign language class last night. It was great fun and really worked our brains. We had more fun than we expected. I have been working on a website for sometime, that no one has seen at this point. I think I will get back to that. It's about health and wellness and energy healing. It is part of following the thread. It is definitely a creative endeavor for me because there is so much I can do with it with regard to my interests. Larry feels he is ready to start writing in earnest and he has a outlet for his creative expressions, if he chooses to go that way. He has long talked about writing a book and these last couple of weeks he keeps saying "honey, I'm about ready to do it."

"Just do it!" seems to be the direction..... take the first step and then the next, and then the next. As we so often say "Go to the edge of the light" but do we remember that? Well, thank you for letting me "hear myself think".

We each completed a quiz to see what was holding us back. This is what it said about Larry:

Ready for Change - "Congratulations! You understand an important truth: Everyone feels fear. And you know that the secret to success is not letting fear stop you. With practice, you've developed the courage you need to move forward despite your anxieties. Your confidence will allow you to explore other paths and stay the course when you encounter bumps in the road."

Well, hurray for Larry! Sounds pretty good! Maybe a good affirmation to read each day.

This was mine:

Fear of Success - "You're fairly confident in your abilities, but you balk at the pressure of maintaining success once you have it. You know that your achievements will breed higher expectations and you worry that you won't be able to meet them. You may even be experiencing what psychologists call impostor syndrome, the fear that those around you will discover you're not really as talented or competent as they think. People who fear success often credit their achievements to circumstances rather than to their talent and other assets. The key for these people is to accept responsibility for their accomplishments."

Footnote to the above (Fear of Success) ***"Many of my clients find this simple exercise helpful: Think of a recent success. Now make a list of the skills and qualities you drew on to win it - determination, intelligence, creativity, charm.... (If you're struggling, ask a friend for help; others can often see your assets more clearly than you can.) Make this exercise a habit each time something goes well. Once you begin to see your strengths in action every day, you will recognize that you are , in fact, well-equipped to tackle whatever challenges lie ahead. (Take the Quiz and find out
"What's Holding You Back?"
http://www.oprah.com/money/Whats-Holding-You-Back_1

This housesit will conclude about the middle of June. We intend to head to California at that point. We'll spend a couple of weeks helping Arlene get her garden up and running once again..... maybe. We are not intending to spend the summer there. We have friends in Sonoma who has asked up to paint their house so we could do that for extra money. We are thinking about making a trip down this spring to look at the project. The folks at Tuckaway Farm have asked up to ranch sit the month of September. We love it there and the pay is good. We love spending time at Tuckaway Farm! It is delicious and delightful. (To read more about Tuckaway Farm and see some photos go to 2003 entries - we'll be putting up more photos in the next few days)

We are planning to spend the interim time camping out in southwest Oregon, prospecting, exploring and camping. We get 10 days of free camping each month in Oregon State Parks and 1/2 price a National Parks, BLM and Forest Service campgrounds. Like I said we are looking for signs and following the thread so who really knows but these are the tentative plans. We may look for a place to share-crop!

Well, that is all I know this morning. I am going to get up and tackle these boxes that have been sitting here in the dining room since we moved back into the house last September. Maybe I'll find some clues in there. Thanks for listening.