Speaking of Crones....... Something I've been thinking about with regard to my accumulating years. I heard Jean Shinoda Bolen speak about crones a few years ago and I have not forgotten it. It is something that has stayed with me. When I first think of "crones" I always see a hunched-over, gnarly woman in a ratty medieval cape with a hood, pathetic and menacing. Bolen pits herself firmly against that image.
In Bolens own words..... "I am proposing that it is time to reclaim and redefine “crone” from the word pile of disparaging names to call older women, and to make becoming a "crone" a crowning inner achievement of the third phase of life. She says that "crone years are growing years, when women can devote their time, energy and creativity to what really matters to them."
To be a crone is about inner development, not outer appearance: A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion, humor, courage, and vitality. She has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels, and take action when need be. She does not avert her eyes or numb her mind from reality. She can see the flaws and imperfections in herself and others, but the light in which she sees is not harsh and judgmental. She has learned to trust herself to know what she knows... and most importantly "Crones don't whine". It's a basic "rule" that describes conduct unbecoming of a crone. "Whining is an attitude that blocks spiritual and psychological development. Whining makes genuine communication impossible and extorts what then cannot be freely given."
"We become fiercely compassionate crones when we are outraged at the suffering caused as much by indifference by those in authority as by the perpetrators. Compassion and anger come together for terrorized, abused, helpless, and neglected people, whose plight is considered of little importance because they have no power or values in a world where greed and power over others rather than concern for others is the ruling principle. Crones are not naïve or in denial about reality. When something in particular is an outrage, and doing something about it is the choice, a moment of truth occurs in which activists are born. The suffering of others or the feeling of enough is enough! radicalizes older women. .. the Crone is a woman who has found her voice. She knows that silence is consent. This is a quality that makes older women feared. It is not the innocent voice of a child who says, "the Emperor has no clothes," but the fierce truthfulness of the crone that is the voice of reality. Both the innocent child and the crone are seeing through the illusions, denials, or "spin" to the truth. But the crone knows about the deception and its consequences, and it angers her. Her fierceness springs from the heart, gives her courage, makes her a force to be reckoned with."
Bolen offers us a blueprint; "Crones don't whine. They're juicy, and they trust their own instincts. They don't grovel. They do meditate. They trust the path with heart. Crones are fierce about what matters most to them. They speak the truth with compassion. They listen to their bodies, reinvent themselves as needed, and savor the good in their lives." She also believes that men can be crones too if they are nurturing human beings who care for others.
So where am I on this path? Where are you?
